"Just What Is It About Netminders?!!"
A trip into the almost obsessive (but not quite!) interest in people of the goalie persuasion (by one who knows!),

During the long quiet (ish) summer months without hockey, I've mistakenly fallen into the habit of thinking, and pondering the many mysteries of my life. The most pressing (and, ahem, FUN!) one has to be, "just what subtle appeals do netminders have that draw your attention to them?" (or, as subtly phrased by my Fiance "well what is it about netminders that causes U to drool buckets?").

In answering this question, influenced no doubt by watching pointless TV (Dave Gorman, you have a lot to answer for!), plus since leaving school, essays are much more appealing, I've decided to do a light hearted, yet  in-depth study into just what it is about netminders that turns many females to mush (me being one of them!!).

First, I have to set things straight. Contrary to popular public belief/accusation NEVER have I been on "intimate terms" with a netminder (in many cases, unfortunately!). Lets be honest, most of them didn't even know my name.  So the fixation didn't start from a knowlege that they were "my type of guy", coz I don't know them! I only ever saw them on public duty, same as everyone else.

So, the next logical conclusion is, LOOKS. Now, you'd expect, if you had a good grasp of logic (and, I must admit, you were female) that the one position that required by hockey law a full facial cover at all times would be filled by the, ahem, less aesthetically pleasing members of the team. Any logical female could tell you that the ideal team set-up would see your Barry Neikar's permanantly covered from head to foot, whilst the likes of Jim, Trev, and CuJo were free-wheeling about the ice, feeling the wind (and admiring female stares) on their faces
THIS IS NOT HOW IT WORKS!!  All too often the resident team Adonis is the one hiding under that head gear, leaving females in the audience eagerly awaiting breaks in play/thirst/fights/anything that requires liftage of the helmet.

Now I'm lucky in both the fact that my season ticket seat is at one end of the rink (near the home net and bench), and also that (in my opinion) it is usually the goalies who are listed as second on the roster that are the cutest. Whilst unfortunate for the talented souls themselves (and I love nothing more than seeing them play, as people who have to endure my constant screaming whenever they do play will testify)  having them spend matches stood patiently on the bench, helmet-less and darn cute.is rather pleasing to the female eye.
~*~
But none of this answers the vital question:- WHY?? What is it about these guys that causes all the spending of time and money? Fair enough when it's your own team's goalie, but where to draw the line? Just how far can you travel to see goalies, and still count as sane?

Now I've never been to Canada (the furthest "abroad" I've ever been is Ayr/South Wales), but if I ever went, seeing hockey would be a main reason. And if that hockey happened to include Cu-Jo, well that would be a plus point. But would I ever travel 1/2 way across the world just to see him/other fit NHLers play?? Common sense would say no, of course not. I can see them on TV (well, C5!) during the season, there's the internet for photos/gossip/etc, and all shirts are commonly available, personalised over the net. Thus the application of common sense leaves no room for travelling across the world to see someone play hockey.

Luckily, I have no common sense, so if I had the cash, yeah, I probably would travel all that way for a fit netminder (ahem, for the hockey).

So netminders (so far!) have never led me out of the UK. However, for 2 years (oddly enough the 2 Jim was there) I went to every Newcastle .v. Sheffield game. Away Travel coach, Dad's car, Fiance's Dad's car (before we were ever "together", now therein lies a tale!!), any means of travel possible (and not just for their fabulous hot roast pork sandwiches!). Any time of the season, (including nearly being snowed in at Xmas, and getting a free firework display in the car park on Bonfire Night) I was there (my only regret being never taking a camera, sadly I have no photos of my own of Jim playing hockey). I even debated buying a Riverkings/Jesters jersey, to have personalised with his details. But being a Steelers fan that was one step too far, apparently, according to the many fans I voiced this idea to, and according to whoever I travelled with at the time (tho I do own an unpersonalised Riverkings jersey I bought last year at the playoffs for a fiver). One match luckily collided with not only my pay day, but also the raffling off of Jim's game-worn shirt. Bye-bye £60, hello screaming loony hopping mad deeply depressed female (minus game-worn shirt, drowning in raffle tickets) muttering obscenities at the person who actually won the shirt throughout the presentation/journey home/following few days (if, btw, you are/know that person, the £60 is on offer to you for that shirt!! And is negotiable!).
~*~
Last season saw me taking the night off work, to travel to Manchester (on that fateful "Broken IceMaker Night") only to have to come home without even seeing the game and repeat the whole proceedure next away match to get Jim's Gameworn GB jersey! (Well worth the trouble/expense!). On the same theme this season, I've (before the season even started yet!) had a night off to meet Trevor, a night off for the Dinner Dance (same reason!) and signed up as his Kit Sponsor. Barking mad? Yes. Worth it? Definately. And so game-worn shirt #3 (hopefully!) is secured.

After the "No More Shirts" discussion with my Mum ("No more shirts" "But...." "NO MORE HOCKEY SHIRTS.") my accomplice (read:-Fiance) and I have smuggled a couple more into the house, the most recent of which being a
Steelers 1998-99 jersey , never actually game-worn by, though personalised for, Jim.
Unfortunately through careful scrutinising of the programmes she's discovered that the cost of the kit sponsorship is £250.
A discussion not fit for net publication followed.
~*~
So all that must set me/other goalie addicts back a fair amount. Assume each away trip cost £25 (inc.ticket, travel, food, etc). Then there's the £60 for the raffle at Newcastle, similar amount for shirt raffles in our arena, £135 (altogether) for game-worn shirts of Jim's, £250 for Trevor's, plus season tickets, etc, and I need a really good maths person to work it out coz I can't bear to!!!!! (It's giving me a crippling pain in my purse just thinking about it!!). I could probably have got to Canada after all, let's face it!!

I still have an on-going search for Jim's helmet (skull/Jester design from Newcastle). I suspect (though have never found out for sure) that it was taken when the club went to the receivers, but I seriously hope not, that's one thing I'd really LOVE to have (and would definately pay £££££££ for!).
~*~
But as we all know, money isn't the most important thing. If it wasn't for the fact that we enjoy the game, us goalie addicts would never have started attending in the first place, now would we? Therein lies another compromise. How far can you support your goalie, before it affects the supporting of your team?
How many goals can they concede before you stop cheering their every move (for me, as many as they like! The "Give it to Jimmy!" chant echoed around most Man Of The Match presentations, home or away, no matter who he was playing for, even when he wasn't on the ice for the game/let a few in), as in past seasons has the "Give it to Trevor!" and "Give it to Rob!" variations on a theme.. But some people have problems in that area. How many goals can be let in before you let the disgusted glances from all around silence your screaming for the Masked Adonis of your choice? It's a tricky situation. Luckily, I never give in.

Not even at the fateful play-offs, surrounded by opposition fans, Newcastle players in tears on the ice, me  and the female Jesters fan in the crowd in hysterical tears, coz not only did "we" lose, but the guys were crying, and it was on the big screen (thanks have to go to the two guys she was with, though, who not only made me an honourary Geordie for the day, thus allowing me to sit and cheer with them, but were also damn big fellas, thus allowing me to cheer freely despite being in opposition territory...Thanks guys!) did I give in, and still the cries of "Give it to Jimmy!" rang out (this time in stereo, as the Jesters girl joined in too).
~*~

That's all my thinking for this installment, as you may have worked out by the slightly dis-jointed effect reading this all in one go has, I return to this page a few times every season. Thus the "~*~"s, as each section between them should make perfect sense (I hope, anyway!).
So now I appeal to you, fellow goalie fans, to tell your story. What exactly is it about those well-padded people? Simply fill in this form, and hit submit!


*My name is:-

*My e-mail address is:-

I love netminders because:-








I prefer to remain publicly annonymous:-
Don't forget to check back for the next installment of my ponderings, your story could be included!!




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"Just What Is It About Netminders?!!"
A trip into the almost obsessive (but not quite!) interest in people of the goalie persuasion (by one who knows!),

During the long quiet (ish) summer months without hockey, I've mistakenly fallen into the habit of thinking, and pondering the many mysteries of my life. The most pressing (and, ahem, FUN!) one has to be, "just what subtle appeals do netminders have that draw your attention to them?" (or, as subtly phrased by my Fiance "well what is it about netminders that causes U to drool buckets?").

In answering this question, influenced no doubt by watching pointless TV (Dave Gorman, you have a lot to answer for!), plus since leaving school, essays are much more appealing, I've decided to do a light hearted, yet  in-depth study into just what it is about netminders that turns many females to mush (me being one of them!!).

First, I have to set things straight. Contrary to popular public belief/accusation NEVER have I been on "intimate terms" with a netminder (in many cases, unfortunately!). Lets be honest, most of them didn't even know my name.  So the fixation didn't start from a knowlege that they were "my type of guy", coz I don't know them! I only ever saw them on public duty, same as everyone else.

So, the next logical conclusion is, LOOKS. Now, you'd expect, if you had a good grasp of logic (and, I must admit, you were female) that the one position that required by hockey law a full facial cover at all times would be filled by the, ahem, less aesthetically pleasing members of the team. Any logical female could tell you that the ideal team set-up would see your Barry Neikar's permanantly covered from head to foot, whilst the likes of Jim, Trev, and CuJo were free-wheeling about the ice, feeling the wind (and admiring female stares) on their faces
THIS IS NOT HOW IT WORKS!!  All too often the resident team Adonis is the one hiding under that head gear, leaving females in the audience eagerly awaiting breaks in play/thirst/fights/anything that requires liftage of the helmet.

Now I'm lucky in both the fact that my season ticket seat is at one end of the rink (near the home net and bench), and also that (in my opinion) it is usually the goalies who are listed as second on the roster that are the cutest. Whilst unfortunate for the talented souls themselves (and I love nothing more than seeing them play, as people who have to endure my constant screaming whenever they do play will testify)  having them spend matches stood patiently on the bench, helmet-less and darn cute.is rather pleasing to the female eye.
~*~
But none of this answers the vital question:- WHY?? What is it about these guys that causes all the spending of time and money? Fair enough when it's your own team's goalie, but where to draw the line? Just how far can you travel to see goalies, and still count as sane?

Now I've never been to Canada (the furthest "abroad" I've ever been is Ayr/South Wales), but if I ever went, seeing hockey would be a main reason. And if that hockey happened to include Cu-Jo, well that would be a plus point. But would I ever travel 1/2 way across the world just to see him/other fit NHLers play?? Common sense would say no, of course not. I can see them on TV (well, C5!) during the season, there's the internet for photos/gossip/etc, and all shirts are commonly available, personalised over the net. Thus the application of common sense leaves no room for travelling across the world to see someone play hockey.

Luckily, I have no common sense, so if I had the cash, yeah, I probably would travel all that way for a fit netminder (ahem, for the hockey).

So netminders (so far!) have never led me out of the UK. However, for 2 years (oddly enough the 2 Jim was there) I went to every Newcastle .v. Sheffield game. Away Travel coach, Dad's car, Fiance's Dad's car (before we were ever "together", now therein lies a tale!!), any means of travel possible (and not just for their fabulous hot roast pork sandwiches!). Any time of the season, (including nearly being snowed in at Xmas, and getting a free firework display in the car park on Bonfire Night) I was there (my only regret being never taking a camera, sadly I have no photos of my own of Jim playing hockey). I even debated buying a Riverkings/Jesters jersey, to have personalised with his details. But being a Steelers fan that was one step too far, apparently, according to the many fans I voiced this idea to, and according to whoever I travelled with at the time (tho I do own an unpersonalised Riverkings jersey I bought last year at the playoffs for a fiver). One match luckily collided with not only my pay day, but also the raffling off of Jim's game-worn shirt. Bye-bye £60, hello screaming loony hopping mad deeply depressed female (minus game-worn shirt, drowning in raffle tickets) muttering obscenities at the person who actually won the shirt throughout the presentation/journey home/following few days (if, btw, you are/know that person, the £60 is on offer to you for that shirt!! And is negotiable!).
~*~
Last season saw me taking the night off work, to travel to Manchester (on that fateful "Broken IceMaker Night") only to have to come home without even seeing the game and repeat the whole proceedure next away match to get Jim's Gameworn GB jersey! (Well worth the trouble/expense!). On the same theme this season, I've (before the season even started yet!) had a night off to meet Trevor, a night off for the Dinner Dance (same reason!) and signed up as his Kit Sponsor. Barking mad? Yes. Worth it? Definately. And so game-worn shirt #3 (hopefully!) is secured.

After the "No More Shirts" discussion with my Mum ("No more shirts" "But...." "NO MORE HOCKEY SHIRTS.") my accomplice (read:-Fiance) and I have smuggled a couple more into the house, the most recent of which being a
Steelers 1998-99 jersey , never actually game-worn by, though personalised for, Jim.
Unfortunately through careful scrutinising of the programmes she's discovered that the cost of the kit sponsorship is £250.
A discussion not fit for net publication followed.
~*~
So all that must set me/other goalie addicts back a fair amount. Assume each away trip cost £25 (inc.ticket, travel, food, etc). Then there's the £60 for the raffle at Newcastle, similar amount for shirt raffles in our arena, £135 (altogether) for game-worn shirts of Jim's, £250 for Trevor's, plus season tickets, etc, and I need a really good maths person to work it out coz I can't bear to!!!!! (It's giving me a crippling pain in my purse just thinking about it!!). I could probably have got to Canada after all, let's face it!!

I still have an on-going search for Jim's helmet (skull/Jester design from Newcastle). I suspect (though have never found out for sure) that it was taken when the club went to the receivers, but I seriously hope not, that's one thing I'd really LOVE to have (and would definately pay £££££££ for!).
~*~
But as we all know, money isn't the most important thing. If it wasn't for the fact that we enjoy the game, us goalie addicts would never have started attending in the first place, now would we? Therein lies another compromise. How far can you support your goalie, before it affects the supporting of your team?
How many goals can they concede before you stop cheering their every move (for me, as many as they like! The "Give it to Jimmy!" chant echoed around most Man Of The Match presentations, home or away, no matter who he was playing for, even when he wasn't on the ice for the game/let a few in), as in past seasons has the "Give it to Trevor!" and "Give it to Rob!" variations on a theme.. But some people have problems in that area. How many goals can be let in before you let the disgusted glances from all around silence your screaming for the Masked Adonis of your choice? It's a tricky situation. Luckily, I never give in.

Not even at the fateful play-offs, surrounded by opposition fans, Newcastle players in tears on the ice, me  and the female Jesters fan in the crowd in hysterical tears, coz not only did "we" lose, but the guys were crying, and it was on the big screen (thanks have to go to the two guys she was with, though, who not only made me an honourary Geordie for the day, thus allowing me to sit and cheer with them, but were also damn big fellas, thus allowing me to cheer freely despite being in opposition territory...Thanks guys!) did I give in, and still the cries of "Give it to Jimmy!" rang out (this time in stereo, as the Jesters girl joined in too).
~*~

That's all my thinking for this installment, as you may have worked out by the slightly dis-jointed effect reading this all in one go has, I return to this page a few times every season. Thus the "~*~"s, as each section between them should make perfect sense (I hope, anyway!).
So now I appeal to you, fellow goalie fans, to tell your story. What exactly is it about those well-padded people? Simply fill in this form, and hit submit!


Yes No